Wow…here I am again after some time. Where do I start? First, my apologies for disappearing but you know how life sometimes takes you in so many directions that you are left in a puddle of confusion, self doubt, and uncertainty? And so what did I do? I went inwards. To try and sort things out, to sit and get re-aquainted with old emotions which I realize now will always be there. It’s how I choose to deal with them, honour them, that will make the biggest difference in how my future unveils itself. The last thing I wanted to do was write for the wrong reasons. So the writing had to stop. But nothing is permanent now is it…:)

There are many amazing lessons that I will share with you in the weeks and months ahead. I feel a sense of excitement and renewed passion that I believe will present itself here, on my blog in whatever way feels right on that day. And of course I wonder how you are all doing, in your day to day lives. Are you running around like robots, doing more and more, only to feel drained or dissatisfied? Are you taking the time to really stop, slow down, breathe and notice what is going on inside you and around you. Perhaps you want to slow down but that calendar of yours won’t allow you to.

Do you notice like I do, how the days are flying by?  The most recurring thought I had when I was trying to sort out my world was…Every day I wake up I am one day closer to the day I die. Pretty morbid depending how you look at it but there was something so powerful in that statement, that I was almost forced to WAKE UP. By the end of 2010 I had a pretty clear idea of not only what I wanted my life to be but who I wanted to be in this life. How do I want to show up to others and more importantly to myself. What are the most important things to me and how will I ensure my life is filled with these things? What do I love to do? What makes my heart SING…I made a list. Void of resolutions. That’s just too much pressure. A DREAM list…:)

to be continued…

The other day I met a friend who happens to be single and available for dating. I asked her one very simple question…What do you want? She sat still for a moment, her mind at work…mmm….”what do I want?” She responded, “well, I want to be with a man who is successful, open-minded, and romantic. A guy who values family and has a great sense of humour”…I immediately thought…who doesn’t want a man like that? All the qualities my friend had just listed off were qualities that ALL my single girlfriends desire. But these descriptors have much more meaning behind them.  What does being “successful” mean to my friend? That the man has a high paying job, travels in first class, and holds the title of VP? How about the word “romantic”. What is romance to my girlfriend? If I told her I would find it romantic if my man and I went to a hockey game and shared in that experience, she may think I was crazy!

It’s not that difficult to write a list of adjectives describing your dream partner but what takes some thought and honesty, is to get specific and clear about what these adjectives mean to you. Desiring a man who is family oriented is very different than desiring a man who enjoys spending time with his siblings or parents at least a couple of times per week. What does being family oriented mean to you? What if the man spends time with his siblings and parents but does not want a wife or children of his own? Perhaps if he calls his parents once a week to ask them how they are doing will suffice as being family oriented?

The first step in attracting the right partner is to get clear on what it is you want, in detail. Get specific, so that when you write the details you can actually connect to the feeling that would result from having that in your life. Clarity is not only power it is necessary for the law of attraction to work. Or for the universe to respond to. If you do not have a clear idea of what you want, that grey area can cause great suffering and lack of trust in yourself. When a nice man comes along, you will not notice him and he will not recognize you. If you feel overwhelmed by this, start with small steps. Write 5 qualities in detail that you desire in your mate.

Have some fun doing this. Imagine you are placing an order with the universe from the “Attract the Love of my Life” shopping catalogue:)

~blusapphire.

How many tasks seem to reappear day after day on your TO DO list? How many inspiring projects are left on your dream list or your bucket list, reminding you year after year that you have failed to achieve them? The number one reason for procrastination is some form of FEAR. Usually if we get really honest about why something has not been completed one of the following reasons will surface:

1) Mere boredom and lack of interest in the task itself. Eg. preparing for or doing your taxes! Unless you’re an accountant tax season can be stressful and cause great anxiety for many people. You would rather clean your bathroom floor than get to the taxes.

A form of procrastination is to do anything else BUT the task at hand. Some people will have dialogues in their minds convincing themselves that there is a better time to do the task. That they deserve a break today because it was a hard day at work so perhaps after some RnR the mental readiness will suddenly reveal itself! Sorry but unless you can pay someone to tackle your taxes the best way to get over this form of procrastination is to just dive in and do it!

Make an agreement with yourself that after each half hour of working on your taxes you will take a break and do something fun. Just make sure to get back to the taxes! You could also make a list of the top 3 reasons you will feel good about doing/completing your taxes. Keep those in front of you, visible. Think about how you can make this boring task more fun? Perhaps you can listen to your favorite music as you delve into your pile of receipts. A glass of wine or your favorite dessert? Or just the simple reminder that once you get it off your list, you will be FREE to move on with your life!

2) Fear of Doing it WRONG – let’s face it we are not perfect. So many of our tasks are untouched because for some reason we feel we have to do it perfectly right so until we know all about the topic, have done our research and are an expert in the field, the project will sit idle.

The remedy here is to give yourself a break! Be honest about where you think you need help vs where you think you can contribute without assistance. Focus on your strengths and approach the people in your life for help or advice. Generally if you are clear about what it is you are trying to accomplish, people will be more than helpful. If someone says No it’s usually because you haven’t been clear enough in your request for help OR you are asking for too much. Make it easy for people to say YES to you.

3) Fear of Success – believe it or not many projects and dreams are mere fantasies because of one’s fear of success. If I actually do something about this dream then people will expect me to finish it and what parts of my life will change if this really takes off? Do I want this type of responsibility in making an impact or would I rather remain in my comfort zone where things are safe and predictable? This is where you have to get connected to who you are and what really makes you happy. If a dream sits on your list and you realize on your death bed…what if…I did something about this? Well, you decide if you will be in a place of happiness and inner peace…Also, when you realize that our unique gifts and talents are meant to serve others you will feel less apprehension in taking some action.

4) Fear of Failure – this is the number one FEAR that holds us back from any task, goal, or life dream. Imagine how we project the result of failure into our dream when we haven’t even started to do anything about it. We project our fear into our dream and we become paralyzed. Nothing gets done. Our doubts can be deeply ingrained in us and they can shatter our dreams. We carry this false evidence because on some level we just think and visualize how horrific it would be to fail.We focus and give our energy and attention to the failing rather than to the learning and healthy challenge of the journey.

Failure is a prerequiste to Success. Through failure we learn, we grow, we understand. But who thinks you are going to fail? It is soley your thought and thoughts can be empowering instead of limiting. Write out a dialogue between your doubter voice and your dreamer voice. You might be surprised as to the real reasons behind your procrastination.

5) Feeling of Anxiety or Overwhelm – usually the feeling of anxiety is due to one of the above mentioned reasons. However sometimes the task is so large that having it sit on a to do list creates overwhelm. For eg. My dream for 2010 is to write my first book. WoW! How long will that dream keep showing up on future Dream Lists because the process in writing a book is exactly that! A process. A step by step project. Break down the task into viable and attainable steps. Clearly identify the intention of each step and celebrate the completion of each step which will give you momentum in following through to the end.

Procrastination creates feelings of guilt, inadequacy, and dis-ease. Why do this to yourself and carry such a heavy load? Take some time to look at the tasks that reappear, the dreams that show up again and again, year after year. If something is important take the time to dig a bit deeper and find out what is holding you back. Procrastination serves a purpose. We all face procrastination but through practice and honest evaluation, we can overcome and manage it and even start to see how we actually need it in our own development and self discovery.

In Lightness…
~blusapphire

Happy Valentine’s Day! What are you doing to celebrate love today? This note is for the singles because we seem to get left out on this day so I invite you to open your eyes and your heart to LOVE and celebrating love. The love you feel and see all around you. Yes, it’s the gaze shared between lovers, the embrace between sweethearts but even more than that it’s the bond between mother and child. It’s the playfulness and laughter between friends. Love exists and oozes in the animal kingdom. The lion and the lioness exchange the glance and knowing as they protect and provide for their young. When you open your eyes to this day listen for the sweet song between the birds, that is love. Do you see it, do you feel it?

Still not convinced? There is one more place you will witness love…in fact you don’t have to go far and search but Today because of Valentine’s day take a moment to appreciate and love the person you see in the mirror. YOU are love. See the beauty that you are, see your essence and take a moment to embrace ALL of you, especially the parts you judge and constantly try to change. You were created in God’s love as perfect and infinite love. Nothing less, nothing more.

Millions celebrate love today and the collective energy that cumulates on this day includes all of us, single or not, we are Love. What we focus on expands so imagine the capacity of Love on this day, especially. Don’t run from it, don’t keep yourself busy to fight it. Throw yourself into the beautiful mix and surrender to it. Take your attention off the “wanting” and start “having”. Witness it, open your heart to see it, feel it and you will have a Valentine’s Day to cherish…coachblu

IMAGINE…

waking up every morning in the arms
of YOUR DREAM MAN. Imagine having everything
you have wished for in that special someone.

His generosity, his kindness – how he adores you,
how he looks at you, protects you and provides for
you. Is he tall, dark, and handsome?
Who is this man in your heart of hearts?

If you are ready to DECLARE, NO MORE! to singlehood, then please listen to this:

>>>click here for a limited time Valentine’s Day GIFT>>>> http://budurl.com/MyDreamMan

coachblu.

My Dear Fellow Dreamers,

Please accept my apologies for disappearing on you for sometime now. I lost my passion to write because I found myself stuck for words. I was mislead in thinking that you cannot teach something that you, yourself do not possess. That it would be hypocritical to do so. So the very topic that I dream about, talk about, write about, and pray for was quietly shelved under “future work”. Without much thought I carried on doing all the things I have been taught to do to grow my coaching business, credibility and visibility. And I attempted to do this for a so called “hot topic”. One that would surely reap the rewards. On a practical level, it made sense. I mean, I have the skills, aptitude, and knowledge as well as the real life experience to draw from so based on that I would do well. Wouldn’t I?

As I continued to build the niche market by researching, creating content, and ultimately preparing for a media blast, something inside of me kept saying…No. I dismissed this strong inner knowing for fear. It was not fear. I could not move forward in this work because in my heart I knew there was a misalignment on some level. Everything stopped for a few days and I took some time to be in nature, listen to my favourite music, trusting I would figure it out. The best thing to do when things are not flowing with ease is to step away and connect with higher source.

One afternoon I had a scheduled call with a fellow coach and as I explained to her my strategy on targeting my niche market she clearly pointed out that I sounded so Flat. There was no passion in what I was telling her. After a very powerful coaching session that steered in the direction of my passion I realized that my heart was beckoning the topic of true love. Attracting the one. My journey in life has been all about love. Discovering it, observing it, understanding it and practicing it. It is the topic that makes me smile. Radiate, actually:)

Every relationship experience in my life has been one of learning and growth. Even if at the time I was consumed in the emotion of it and could not see pass that. That is EXACTLY what needed to happen for me and for my partner. Each journey of love gave me incredible and sometimes shocking insight to who I am and what matters to me most. But, paramount to that it has been a journey of realizing that the only person that can make me feel whole and complete is MySelf. That everything we desire out partners to give us to feel worthy, valuable, appreciated, and to be seen, is ultimately what we need to cultivate in ourselves.

The journey of attracting the man of my dreams has been a long one but to date the most precious. Because through this I have seen every side of me; good, bad, and ugly come to surface and today I can say that it’s all perfectly imperfect! I have been blessed to experience love on so many levels that I now understand what love is and what it means to live with an open heart. To surrender to love and honour the differences that make us so unique and so delicious! I used to run away from love and today I have the eyes to see it in everything around me. I continue to practice giving love fully AND receiving love fully.

If you are passionate about something or someone, express it in every way that you can think of. Share it with others because your passion will inspire and empower others. Your passion will take you far and life will filled with joy, magic, and possibility.

From my heart to yours ♥♥

coachblu

FREE 2 session teleclass: Register here:

***SORRY THIS EVENT IS OVER, THIS LINK WILL TAKE YOU TO THE BLUSAPPHIRE WEBSITE***
http://MyOptInPage2.com/?pid=5671438

Dates: Thursday Jan 7 & Thursday Jan 14, 2010

Time: 7:00 PM MTN (9:00 PM EST) each class – 1 hour

Ready to make some BIG changes?    Not sure where to start?

Join Professional Certified Dream Coach® Neelam Kassam for this FREE, two-session teleclass and discover the keys to setting and achieving the goals you really want in 2010.

What’s a Teleclass?

Interactive, informative and fun, a teleclass is just like attending workshop, but instead of driving, parking and making sure your hair is combed, all you need are two free hours and a phone!  This teleclass meets for two consecutive weeks, one hour each week.

In this 2 week teleclass you will:

• Identify the goals you really want and are most likely to achieve!

• Create your own personalized 3 Step Success Strategy.

• Get into action and create huge momentum to keep on going.

• Learn 4 easy ways to overcome any obstacle that arises.

• And much, much more!

Isn’t it time to go for the things you really want in your life?

Don’t miss this opportunity to start the New Year off RIGHT!

2010: My Best Year Ever! How to Set and Achieve the Goals You Really Want in the New Year

Register here:
http://MyOptInPage2.com/?pid=5671438
Once you register, you will receive the call in information and other important details on how you can get the most out of your teleclass experience.

dream~believe~achieve!

Neelam.

Whether you are at home, at work, or out  in a social environment, you are constantly building relationships. Relationships change and even dissolve but how can you ensure that the relationships that mean the most to you, will continue to offer happiness, connection, and long term sustainability? Here are 3 proven techniques that you can start using TODAY for the long term success of any valuable relationship.

1. Relate To People Through Their Strengths Rather Than Their Failings. We not only see them differently but we respond differently. It is a common understanding in relationship counseling that those who seek it can readily cite their partner’s failings but struggle to recall their strengths and skills.
It’s easy to perceive failings – we all have them. However, when we relate to others through their strengths and skills, we instill confidence, bypass conflict and demonstrate a productive way of relating to people. As well, those who experience first hand what that feels like are able learn from our example. It also builds trust. By displaying an awareness of their capabilities, we help others shift attention towards the things they really want and to feel at peace with who they are; in particular, aspects of themselves they may not especially like. They are then more able to let go of those unwanted aspects as they pay more attention to their expanding strengths.

2. Make Peace With The Present. Being angry or resentful about present (and past) conditions keeps us anchored in that place and often creates our overall mood which in turn affects the decisions we make. By learning to view the present from a different perspective we are able to see new paths that previously were obscured. Remember that whatever position you are facing in the present will surely pass and that nothing in life is permanent. Make peace with the present so that you are comfortable even with seemingly intolerable conditions. When you feel good about where you are, new paths will present themselves.

3. Honest Feedback Is Greatly Overrated. When bringing attention to the failings of another, offering honest feedback is greatly overrated. It is very often presumptuous, manipulative and harmful. Attempts to influence the thoughts and behavior of another – control how they think and act – though well-intended, are often misplaced and usually futile. Moreover, they cause the person we are trying to help to focus more on what they don’t want – their failings.
This is not to deny the merit of letting others know how something they have done affects us. Much of the value of this communication lies in taking responsibility for our own responses, not in diminishing others by claiming they are the cause of the way we feel. When we show respect, we encourage others to respect us.

Conclusion:

Habitually see people – and relate to them – through their strengths and skills. If we continue to draw attention to perceived failings, they remain conscious of these – and so do you. This leads us to respond negatively to those things we dislike. When you’re feeling anger, pause and consider how you can approach the situation through the strengths and skills of those who’ve provoked you. For those situations that are especially annoying, learn to feel OK with where you are right now as this makes it easier to let go of present conditions. Then you can move on to a situation that is happier and more fulfilling. For a beautiful future, make peace with the present. coachblu

“Abundance” comes from a source of open energy–a source that promotes positiveness, hope, innovation, growth, possibilities, cooperation, and discovery. A simple definition of abundance is more than enough, fully sufficient, plentiful and present in great quantity.

The opposite end of the spectrum, “scarcity,” means insufficiency or inadequate supply, difficult to find, a shortage, or a small and inadequate amount. The scarcity concept promotes negativity, insufficiency, defeat, discouragement, limitations, doubt, confusion, and fear.

Abundance, scarcity, and all other concepts and life experiences originate with our thoughts. So it matters a great deal what we think about. Princeton Engineering Anomalies Research (PEAR) was the first organization to prove that human consciousness or human thoughts affect physical reality through experiments with random event generators.

Several other groups have conducted collective intention projects around the world that have been organized for the purpose of rapidly transforming certain negative conditions such as significantly reducing crime in a certain area over a prescribed time period. These projects have involved an organized network of people who at a certain date and time all focused their attention on the project goal.

Many other researchers and scientists over recent years have proven the existence of a collective consciousness, and each one of us is a small part of this universal collective consciousness. Each thought we have has an effect on the entire collective mind. So what we think about is profoundly important, not just for our own personal circumstances, but for humankind as well.

So just what are YOU thinking about? Without being consciously aware of it, the events and circumstances that you see, hear, and feel every day constantly projects influential ideas into your minds. Your mind receives and processes this information just like a computer processes the information it receives from the information that the operator inputs into the system.

Our mind registers the input on a positive or negative scale. Depending upon whether it registers as positive or negative, our thoughts transform this input of information to more thoughts that either focus on inspiration, encouragement, possibilities and hope, or discouragement, anger, frustration, limitations and fear.

The cycle of thoughts that we are thinking about returns to us in the same form in which it was sent. This cycle continues just like the input and output on our computers. Whatever is put into a computer is what will come out of it. It is the same with our thoughts and collective consciousness.

With this evidence in mind, the most important thing that people can do in order to change the circumstances present in our world is to become aware of what we are thinking about and take steps to improve the quality of our thinking. We do have the ability to change our thoughts, but we must make a conscious effort to do so. The first step is to notice the thoughts and become aware of them without labeling them as right or wrong.

Abundance and scarcity are opposites, and one cannot focus on both of them at the same time. So if we can transform the information that is input into abundance, it will dispel thoughts of scarcity.

When it comes to achieving your dreams, do you find that you don’t have enough time, enough money, enough resources or even enough belief or confidence? Not having enough is coming from a place of scarcity. And the more you focus on that the more you detract from realizing your heartfelt dreams. What is it that you do have access to? The external resources and the internal wisdom. With some openness and flexibility look around and see what abundance surrounds you. What conscious changes can you start making today so that you do have the resources you need to move forward on your dreams? coachblu

-article by Ed and Deb Shapiro – www.edanddebshapiro.com

It’s Halloween and time to don your masks. What aspect of yourself will you be expressing? Do you see yourself as a gangster, an angel, a beast, or a talk-show host? How do you feel when you dress up as someone else?

One year we became two geisha girls in tight kimonos and white make up. For Ed it was a chance to experience his feminine side; for Deb it was a moment of stepping into someone else’s shoes and realizing how restricted such a lifestyle can be. Another year Deb went as a lotus pond wrapped in a blue sheet with paper lotus flowers pinned all over her, bringing out her meditative serenity, while Ed went as a holy man in orange robes and a turban so as not to take the spiritual journey too seriously.

Does dressing up in a costume enable you to act out your secret fantasies? One year we were invited to Dublin to be on  Kenny Live, a popular Saturday Night TV show, and we arrived at the hotel where we were staying to find ourselves in the midst of an over-50′s costume party. We were stuck in an elevator surrounded by every type of costume you can imagine, with folks aged from 50-80, so the fantasies were pretty outrageous! One woman was dressed in a tight red outfit from head to toe, topped with horns. She was a hot sexy red devil.

Does expressing different parts of yourself highlight parts of your personality that never normally see the light of day? Do you feel you are releasing some pent up hidden part of you that you need to express?

Or does it show you how you normally hide behind false images and labels, such as your race, religion, or profession? We tend to identify with the content of our lives, yet beneath all the labels is our essence, that which we truly are. Can you find who is there without the masks or the façade, without all the many images of you that think you are? We so identify with the masks we may lose sight of what lies behind them. But the labels are only a part of us, not the whole of us, and we need to honor our whole being.

Try the questions below to get reconnected with who you really are:

Time Out:  Noting and Labeling

Find a comfortable place to sit quietly. Have a pen and some paper with you. When you are ready, begin by making a list of all your big labels, the ones that are most obvious, such as race, age, mother or father, child, brother or sister, religion, job, and so on. Build a list that would tell the outside world who you are.

Then make a list of all your personal labels, the ways in which you see yourself, such as your physical health, size and looks; then your emotional and mental labels, how you see your personality, strengths and weaknesses.

Then make a list of all the masks behind which in which you hide your real self, all the masks you use to present an image of yourself or who you would like to be to the world.

Read your list through a few times and see if you can find the real you, in amongst the labels.  Can you find a you that hides behind the masks? Are there ways that this inner part of you can find expression in your life? Write down any ideas on how you could bring this more hidden part of you into your life so that you can begin to let go of the labels and the masks.

Read more at: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/ed-and-deb-shapiro/finding-your-true-self-ar_b_332407.html